


Learning Is Fundamental

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Homicide: Life on the Street
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-20
Updated: 2008-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 07:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1638647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for romanticalgirl</p>
    </blockquote>





	Learning Is Fundamental

**Author's Note:**

> Written for romanticalgirl

 

 

**INTERDEPARTMENT MEMO**

TO: Lt. Alphonse Giardello FROM: Capt. George Barnfather DATE: July 15, 1994 RE: Fundamental Knowledge Sharing Enterprise Project

The Crimes Against Persons Division has been presented with a unique interdepartmental knowledge integration opportunity. 

All homicide detectives, starting with those on your shift, will provide the benefit of their learnings, through knowledge sharing and mentoring in order to demonstrate best practices in policing to the incoming class of cadets at the Baltimore City Police Academy.

Each detective will be tasked with creating a presentation that demonstrates one or more of the core competencies of police work e.g. incentivizing cooperation with investigations, or developing systems to handle mission-critical information, etc.

Attached is a schedule grid indicating available dates and times. Please see that it is filled in completely and returned no later than August 1. 

It is expected that all detectives will participate.

*****

Frank Pembleton took the memo down from the bulletin board and shook it at Giardello. "This...this makes no sense. It isn't even in English." He selected a sentence at random. "'Provide the benefit of their learnings'? I have no 'learnings.' And especially none for the benefit of the police academy. Our budget was cut the same as theirs. I have no time for this. I barely have a partner."

Reading from the copy in his hand, Gee repeated, "'It is expected that all detectives will participate.'" He glared at Pembleton and the rest of the squad. "You will do it. You will all take a turn at the Academy, giving the cadets the benefit of your hard-earned knowledge." 

Tim Bayliss cleared his throat. "Gee, what-- "

"You will all do it and you will like it," Giardello continued. "Make it quick, get it over with, and get back to work." 

"What kind of presentation are they looking for?" Bayliss asked. He had his notebook in his hand, pen poised to take down the information. "How long does it have to be?"

"There are no guidelines." Gee was already halfway back to his office. "You're all detectives. I'm not going to hold your hand. Do what you do best and figure it out yourselves." 

*****

"Have you decided what you're going to do your presentation on?" Bayliss asked Pembleton a few days later. For the first time in a week, the phones weren't ringing off the hook with reports of citizens driven amuck by the heat, shooting and stabbing and--in one memorable incident--kicking their way into a ride downtown and a murder charge, and the detectives could come up for air.

"Oh, it's done already. Fifteen minutes on how I manage my case files, complete with flip chart and handouts for the class. I'm optimizing mission-critical systems and sharing my learnings with others."

"I thought you said that wasn't English," Bayliss objected.

"It's all in the jargon," Pembleton said. "I'm going to go in, dazzle them with bullshit, and leave. I'll be back in the squadroom before they think of any questions."

"Can I see your presentation?" Bayliss thumbed through his notebook. "Maybe I could get some ideas."

"No. Do your own."

*****

"You ready?" Meldrick Lewis slid the Cavalier neatly through an intersection on the tail of a minivan, clearing the crosswalk just as the yellow light turned red. 

The minivan stopped abruptly and Steve Crosetti, in the passenger seat, stomped on an imaginary brake pedal. "Yeah, I think so. I got all my slides and my script all written."

Lewis swung into the curb lane to pass, just missing a parked car as he pulled back into the traffic lane. "You wrote a script? This ain't Hollywood, you know." He made a sharp right into the parking lot and hit the brakes hard. "You gonna tell me what it's about?"

"I'm not telling you anything." Crosetti popped the trunk and took out a copier paper box. Lewis could see it was heavy, but he wasn't going to offer any help. Let the fat-head little guinea handle it himself if he was going to be like that. He walked ahead to get the door for his partner, then headed off down the hall to take a leak.

A couple of minutes later, equilibrium restored, Lewis glanced through the clear glass pane at the top of the classroom door. He could see a slide of Ford's Theatre projected on the screen at the front of the room. As he opened the door, he could hear Crosetti in full Lincoln assassination lecture mode. 

"--so Benjamin destroyed all his papers and hightailed it out of the country. Buddy of his named Atzerodt left a written confession, but somehow it got 'lost' for years. By the time they found it, nobody cared whether or not Booth was a hired killer."

Lewis took a seat at the front of the room, making sure Crosetti saw him rolling his eyes ostentatiously. 

"They had evidence that tied Booth to Benjamin, but what happens? No one goes after Benjamin and he dies twenty years later in France." Crosetti clicked over to the next slide and tapped on the screen with a pointer. "Meanwhile, Mary Surratt--"

"Salami-brain," Lewis muttered from the front row.

"What?" 

"You heard me." 

"Hey, you know what? Here I am, trying to give these kids a sense of history. Trying to show them how investigative techniques are evolving, and you call me a salami-brain."

"That's 'cause that's what you are," Lewis said. 

"You want a salami-brain?" Crosetti said. "I'll give you salami-brain. See that kid up there?" He aimed the long wooden pointer at the top row as if it were a rifle. "He wanted to know if this guy Lincoln was from Baltimore. That one over there? She wanted to know why the pictures were all in black and white." 

"So, you ready to switch?" Lewis asked mildly. 

"Yeah, I don't think I'm getting through to them." Crosetti switched off the slide projector and sat down at the instructor's desk, as Lewis walked up to the chalkboard and began to write: _Defensive Driving, by Detective Meldrick Lewis._

*****

"I mean, come on," Beau Felton said. "I failed every book report I ever had in school."

"It's not a book report, Beau. It's a presentation." Kay Howard kept her hair twisted into a knot with one hand while she rummaged through her desk for a pencil with the other. "All you have to do is get up there and talk about work." She jabbed the pencil into the knot in her hair. 

"Yeah, but I don't even like talking about work when I'm _at_ work," Felton pointed out. "Not like you. The bosses all love you. I bet you were teacher's pet."

Howard laid out a stack of transparencies on her desk as though they were tarot cards and regarded them intently. 

"You were, weren't you?" Felton said. "Come on, Howie, admit it. You used to go off to school every day in your little plaid jumper and saddle shoes and the teacher used to leave you in charge while she went to the office."

She looked up at him. "Yeah, so what? It still doesn't get this presentation done. 'Incentivizing cooperation.' You know what that is? Getting some cornerboy to roll over on his friends. How the hell do you teach somebody to do that in school, huh?" 

"You're taking this too seriously. This is just something to keep the bosses off our ass until they come up with their next bad idea." 

"You know something, Beau? The only thing that's stopping me from shooting you right now is that I'd have to do the paperwork," Howard said irritably. 

*****

"So I go to sign up for a time slot to do my presentation, and I see that my _partner_ has already signed up. Or should I say my _alleged_ partner?" 

"Give it a rest, Munch," Stan Bolander said, not looking up from his crossword puzzle.

"Give it a rest? How can I give it a rest? We're partners, Stan. Partners support each other in times of trial. I get that you don't want me with you. That's fine. But you could at least offer to give me the benefit of your experience."

"What's a five-letter word for 'gross'?" Bolander said.

"What's a five-letter word for 'gross'? 'Gross' is a five-letter word for 'gross.' Let me see that." Munch grabbed the puzzle. After a moment, he handed it back with a smirk. "So, are we partners?"

Bolander stared at him.

"Partners help each other, Stanley. So here's the deal. I'll help you with the crossword puzzle and you help me with my presentation."

"You'll help me with this crossword puzzle?"

"Yes, in this instance, I will share my superior wisdom with you, Stanley, because we are partners, and partners share."

"Okay, look, Munch. I like you." Bolander lowered his voice. "But I keep telling you I don't swing that way."

"See, that's just it. I give you the respect that's due the Big Man, and you just kick me when I'm down. I bet you would have helped Mitch."

"Mitch wouldn't have needed help." Bolander turned back to his puzzle. 

"CXLIV," Munch said hastily.

"What?"

"CXLIV. 144 in Roman numerals. One gross." 

"...L...I...V. Got it." Bolander filled in the final letters, folded up the paper, and shoved it into his desk drawer. He took the top file from the stack on his desk and began making notes. After a few minutes, he looked up again. "You really want my help?"

"Yes, Stan, I really want your help. What do I have to do, embroider it on a sampler?"

Bolander held out his hand. "Give me a quarter."

*****

**INTERDEPARTMENT MEMO**

TO: Lt. Alphonse Giardello FROM: Capt. George Barnfather DATE: February 2, 1995 RE: Fundamental Knowledge Sharing Enterprise Project Results

I have spoken to Academy Director Harrison about the results of our experiment in coordinated knowledge sharing between the police cadet class and your detectives. Unfortunately, due to a shortage in staff, the project will not be able to proceed further. 

However, we would like to nominate Det. Beauregard Felton for a departmental Excellence in Policing Award as his presentation, "Racial Sensitivity in the Baltimore City Police Department," was named the best presentation by a large majority of the cadets. 

Since neither Director Harrison nor myself were present for the presentation, we would like to invite him to present it at a Departmental Senior Leadership Luncheon on February 17. 

Please advise Det. Felton that his presence in full uniform is required.

 


End file.
